I think I made the biggest mistake of my life and I think that in doing so I am fucking up every single important relationship in my life, including my relationship with Hans. I realized the other day that he is one of the closest people that I have in my life right now. Even though we are broken up I can still talk to him and I know that he honestly cares and that he truly never wanted to hurt me. I am really lucky to have found such a good friend. As a person and as a guy he's almost too good to be true, but not as a boyfriend. He sucked as that. But I know why. I really hope that I don't lose him, ever. He means too much to me.
So my mistake. Yeah. I can't say what that is. Just 'cuz. I feel like I need to go away. Like for the weekend or something. I'm thinking of visiting my cousin. In Baton Rouge. Yeah. Just for the weekend. I'll get someone to work for me Friday and Monday and yeah. I can so do that. I really want to. And I was telling oreo my situation and he said that yeah, I should get away from here. Just forget about all this friggin' drama. So now I'm online and I'm going to go check out ticket prices to BR for next week.
I love both of those boys. Hans and Oreo. Even though they treated me somewhat like shit, I know that they didn't want to. And yeah. It's cool.
Ok. I'm going to go see if I book myself a flight!
BYE!

posted @ 2:31 pm on 01.07.05